Initiate ‘The Chicken Protocol’

By: | Muhammad Ali Azlan |



Tis’ the day of Jubilation and ecstasy, finally a cure for poverty which does not involve culling of the poor???

Who knows, gotta take billy’s (Bill Gates) word for it.

In the battle for better utilization of mother earth’s free natural resources and stopping the most dangerous species of the planet from eating the planet away to it’s core… two super smart people joined heads and ‘hatched’ an ingenious plan to feed world hunger.

Not here to argue semantics and how the world got to this stage, let’s ignore the world wars and destruction inflicted on this earth since it’s inception by the narcissistic human being with a ‘Messiah Complex’ trying to make up for the lack of size and dearth in body organs.

* Hamza Shehbaz gives a wry smile *

Let us start from the beginning.

Our 100 day old Prime Minister of Pakistan picked up an Idea which came from the mind of the second richest man on the planet trying his utmost to eradicate poverty and disease from the planet (Bruce banner with specs, some may say).

The idea in a nutshell consists of three basic ingredients, A chicken, A syringe and a woman preferably from a rural environment.

Then their is a process which consists of the ‘chicken and the egg’ mantra, giving way to a poultry influx leading to poverty alleviation, ending world hunger and self reliance.

I can bash the suggestion and make jokes for days but perhaps, if someone has taken out time from their busy schedule to read, let me indulge them with a little information.

Oh but first, see this tweet.

Boom, shots fired.

Imran Khan, a ‘desi’ himself has taken the idea from Billy (Walaiti) and has announced it to his nation of 200 million as a possible and plausible state of the art, out of the box solution to Pakistan’s hunger crisis and poverty index.

Sincerely, My dear, respected Prime Minister, you have a lot of people in Pakistan who are conducting research in these subjects and would have told you the pro’s and con’s of this “solution” in a much better way than the person who forwarded you this article on a social media app or showed it to you on his expensive gadget.

You floating and accepting this idea without proper research is in itself a testament to the colonial mindset giving in to the ‘Gora’ and his farcical hymns which we eat up as gospel.

Chicken Chronicles

 Now, for some Education

Genetically modified foods (GM foods), also known as genetically engineered foods (GE foods), or bioengineered foods are foods produced from organisms that have had changes introduced into their DNA using the methods of genetic engineering. Genetic engineering techniques allow for the introduction of new traits as well as greater control over traits when compared to previous methods, such as selective breeding and mutation breeding.

Commercial sale of genetically modified foods began in 1994, when Calgene first marketed its unsuccessful Flavr Savr delayed-ripening tomato. Most food modifications have primarily focused on cash crops in high demand by farmers such as soybean, corn, canola, and cotton. Genetically modified crops have been engineered for resistance to pathogens and herbicides and for better nutrient profiles. GM livestock have been developed, although, as of November 2013, none were on the market.

The legal and regulatory status of GM foods varies by country, with some nations banning or restricting them, and others permitting them with widely differing degrees of regulation.

However, there are ongoing public concerns related to food safety, regulation, labelling, environmental impact, research methods.

According to the World Health Organization, “genetically modified organisms (GMOs) can be defined as organisms (i.e. plants, animals or microorganisms) in which the genetic material (DNA) has been altered in a way that does not occur naturally by mating and/or natural recombination. The technology is often called ‘modern biotechnology’ or ‘gene technology’, sometimes also ‘recombinant DNA technology’ or ‘genetic engineering’. … Foods produced from or using GM organisms are often referred to as GM foods.”

The genetically modified foods controversy consists of a set of disputes over the use of food made from genetically modified crops. The disputes involve consumers, farmers, biotechnology companies, governmental regulators, non-governmental organizations, environmental and political activists and scientists. The major disagreements include whether GM foods can be safely consumed, harm the environment and/or are adequately tested and regulated. The objectivity of scientific research and publications has been challenged. Farming-related disputes include the use and impact of pesticides, seed production and use, side effects on non-GMO crops/farms, and potential control of the GM food supply by seed companies.

The conflicts have continued since GM foods were invented. They have occupied the media, the courts, local, regional and national governments and international organizations.

The Syringe ‘Teeka’

The poultry-breeding industry worldwide has focused on the development of hybrids for meat or egg production. There is a popular belief that commercial broilers have a high growth rate because they are raised with steroid hormones.

Growth enhancers, such as antibiotics, antifungals, and probiotics, have been widely used as an economical and safe way to increase BW and improve the nutritional status of many animals, to reduce the rate of diseases, and to improve the preservation of meat products, thereby diminishing costs and increasing producer profits.

Steroid hormones are very powerful compounds that have wide biological effects in animals and humans. In both, estradiol, progesterone, and testosterone occur naturally and in identical molecular forms. These steroids, when ingested by humans via meat consumption, would have the same biological activity in the human body as the hormones produced naturally by the organism. 

Additionally, these natural or synthetic steroids have a very limited linkage or bonding to human plasma proteins, remaining free in the bloodstream and thereby increasing their potential effects. Recent studies in prepubertal children have demonstrated that even small differences in hormone levels and very low doses of steroid hormones can have significant biological effects.

The feed is another can of worms :p (See what I did there)

Dear Prime Minister did you see what the Chief Justice of Pakistan did a while back?

If you were busy, here is a link:

Got Milk?

Since we are on the issue, let’s tackle this one aswell, As a kid of the 90’s I distinctly remember adverts trying to make packaged milk more susceptible and fit for consumption to the young and emerging vibrant youth of Pakistan.

When packaged milk was first introduced in Pakistan in 1981, the idea wasn’t welcomed. In general, people thought packaged milk was not as healthy as loose fresh milk. An aggressive campaign was needed to change people’s mind. How many of you remember the documentary aired on the national television showing how free from germs and bacteria Tetra Pak milk is?

All leading packaged milk brands in Pakistan are UHT (Ultra Heat Treatment) treated. UHT involves heating milk at a temperature of 135 degrees Celsius (which is above boiling point) for a few seconds and then cooling it down.

What happens when milk is heated at such a high temperature? It loses its nutritional value, taste and smell. True, micro-bacteria are killed in this process, but we should also be aware of the fact that not all bacteria are bad for us and this process also kills the good ones. Once going through the UHT process, the milk we buy has an artificial smell and taste added to it. The process also involves homogenization, which ensures that milk and water are not separated (so curdling doesn’t take place). In a nutshell, the milk provided to us is nothing but treated liquid sold as milk.

The milk is then packed between five to six layers of cardboard, polythene and aluminum sheets. This is done to preserve the milk for a longer period of time. The shelf life of milk in Tetra Pak is six to nine months and can be kept at room temperature without curdling. It doesn’t curdle or get contaminated because it is kept away from light and bacteria.

CJP bans sale of packaged milk from four companies in Sindh

However, this is not healthy. Tetra Pak packing has been found to release chemicals in to milk such as urea. And of course it is also simply not fresh.

The solution to this crime lies in taking a step back rather than providing syringes to an illiterate person, a country already plagued with a drug pandemic will provide free vaccinations and syringes, who thinks of these ideas anyways? Apparently and extremely unfortunately, no one.

I am in favor of Technological advancements, but chemical and biological advancements and restructuring needs a lot of deliberation and research which our fine folk at prestigious agricultural and science related universities have carried out, they need to be consulted and taken on board.

I am in no way bashing the Idea but becoming band wagoners to a controversial figure such as Bill Gates, is not a plan, it’s inefficiency and incompetence, lack of planning at the highest order.

No concrete steps are being taken and Imran’s team continues to disappoint with each passing day, Imran has no Miandad and/or Wasim, Inzimam, Mushtaq in the ranks.

Buzdar might need a hip-replacement if he ever tries to become Wasim Akram.

The World Cup winning team had skills but they needed direction, You might have a vague sense of direction, I’ll give you that much Mr. Prime Minister but seemingly your team lacks all sorts of managerial and governance related acumen.

You can’t re-invent the wheel, the swan song and blame game has to end, concrete, visible and constructive actions are the need of the hour.

I pray this government does not depart with an egg on it’s face.


The writer tweets @MuhammadAliAzlan





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